- Michael's gift to the world was a little book he wrote about his eczema called "My Bad Skin". The follow up "My only complaint is a skin complaint" never materialised.
- Heather had consumed so many chocolate buns, she had no room for the bottom layer of the wedding cake she'd managed to stuff into her handbag.
- Mr and Mrs Hill fought so hard to get Sam into a good school they were out of breath.
- If Steve squinted, his girlfriend looked a bit like Neil Kinnock.
- When Chris Smalls had a cold during the first week of March, he joked "I've got Man Flu!" on 94 separate occasions.
- After being invited to a squat party, John Chart got into the spirit of things by turning up in a pair of jeans and the shirt that he'd spilt his roast dinner down last Sunday.
- 'The Motherside Alliance' was an action group for Mothers of children with annoying Mothers.
- After spending 2 years composing his first opera, Simon realised that he'd forgotten to write any of it down.
- "John's closest friend is Joseph, but Joseph's closest friend is John. There's a 'but' because the John and Joseph's are different John and Joseph's. Which makes for a story that's both confusing and dull" Mr Bright said self-knowingly.
- Fortune had favoured Derek with a perfect body to make up for such a silly face.
- Mr. Pat donated one of his legs to a friend who had none and had his remaining leg repositioned in the middle.
- The final straw for David was Dawn sowing 'BE POSITIVE' into all of his clothes.
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